Physical Abuse

I mention that God has given me many shoes to wear. I think he has done this to make me more and more compassionate and understanding. I’ve said since I was very young that as long as I can understand and grasp something than I could support it even if I disagree. So God has given me what I asked for again. He seems to let me walk a bit in others shoes just to ‘get it’ I want to understand things and each walk I take gives me more and more insight into “life”, fortunately, in many cases such as this, I don’t walk very long…
I was about 21/22 years old. I lived at home and began dating a man that truly made my knees weak. It was love at first sight. We became serious very quickly and just as quickly I learned about his horrific temper. He was jealous, possessive and soon became physically abusive.
He would hit, punch and push me and when it was all over he would cry and apologise and promise it would never happen again. He would also tell me what he needed from me and how it was my fault that he would do what he would do. Sounds so text book doesn’t it. Well, I was in love, 21 and trusting what did I know?
As time went on, things, as you can imagine, got worse. I kept the abuse secret from my family and friends as I was so ashamed and embarrassed.
One time an ‘episode’ became so violent and I was actually a bit hurt and really, really scared, no-one was home, the phone rang and I ran to it, he grabbed me and the phone fell on the floor (it was, for those that remember a phone with a cord connecting the base to the ear and mouth piece) so I just screamed, “help call the police”! He quickly left but not before telling me that this was not over. The police arrived as it was my best girlfriend on the other end of the line. They told me what I needed to do which was get a restraining order. The female officer talked with me for a long while and was very passionate about the subject. She told me if I did nothing it would continue. SHe left but not before saying she hoped that she would never have to see me again. My step-father, a Police Reserve came home to find them there and immediately took me to the station to begin this process. Well that is what I did, began it, but did not follow through, and never told anyone that he continued to harrass me. I thought I could handle it and take care of it myself. One evening when I was leaving work, he was hiding behind the building, one of the managers walked me to my car and the two of them got into a fight, I ran back inside (no cell phones then) and called the police. They came and it was the same officers that had come to my house. When the female Officer recognized me, she shook her head while saying saying, ”I can’t help you, because your waisting my time”, and walked away. My heart sunk and I felt two inches tall. I had wasted her time, I did nothing because I felt sorry, I felt bad, I felt guilty and so everything she warned me about was coming true.
Thank God, thank God, I am alive today to share this story. I did get the restraining order again and followed it to the letter. I also had my work transfer me so I could leave town for a while. A few years later I learned that he had badly hurt another girlfriend and was in prison.
If you or anyone you know is in this situation, please, I beg you, get help, get out and do not for one minute think you can change someone, don’t believe that if things were different, it would be different. A person like that needs professional help and it is not your responsibility to help them. You are risking your life every minute you stay. Change is hard and I know sometimes even if it is bad, it is more comfortable living in the familiar than the unknown. Life is meant to be good, times are going to be hard but your life, well, that it is meant to be good.