Where do you begin when inside you have so very much you want to say, to convey, to teach, to share? After all who am I, if nothing but another being or soul on the earth doing my best to fulfill my journey . Where do I get off thinking I can say anything that will make a difference to anyone or teach someone about life or even help them to find peace and serenity along their journey.Well I am a daughter, I am a sister, I am a mother, I’ve been a wife, I am a friend and I am a woman, who, like everyone else has had experiences of my own and I too put one foot in front of the other to simply get to where I am going…Have I had hardships? Sure. Have I had heartbreaks? Sure. Have I been disappointed? Yes. Have I laughed, cried, made mistakes, made good choices and bad, well yes, who has not? I guess that makes you and me the same, our stories will be different as we are different. If you are in a place where you think you are alone and I can possibly shed some light that you are, in fact, not, than please let’s together put one foot in front of the other and take this walk with the belief that we will get to where we are going, we are never alone and we can, in fact have peace. The peace does come from with in if you know how to look, listen and feel and most importantly trust and have faith.I do not have stories that will shock you, I do not have tales of abuse to the level of scars on the outside or deep wounds that would be validated with gasps of horror. I am an ordinary girl that grew up in ordinary circumstances. My story unfolds ordinarily but my quest for peace among the ordinary experiences of my life have never been far from my inner most desires. It seems that every day God puts a new pair of shoes on me to walk a bit, each pair gives me more and more compassion and understanding for others and what they may think and feel. Like my closet every pair of shoes I have are neatly labeled and boxed and with in reach should I feel the need to go on a adventure. Sometimes I trip and sometimes I fall hard but I always get up wipe the dirt (or blood) off my knees and keep moving forward and so can you.I hope that you and I can walk together I believe that in my closet I have a pair of shoes that will feel just right…
With that said…I was born in Albq, N.M. My Father, a funny, handsome, yet modest man is from Georgia. My Mother, a Spanish, Catholic daughter who came from a family of 12, married him, to, well basically to “get out of the house”. She was drowning in the strict confines that being raised only by her father since the age of 4 had set on her. My parents moved to sunny San Diego when I was two. She and my father divorced when I was 5 because his drinking became quite a problem and things just got worse and worse for them. Money was tight and the violent episodes became more frequent, soon this became a lifestyle. All of my early childhood memories are recalled in darkness, I truly believed that the sun never came out and actually asked my mom much later why it used to be so cloudy in San Diego. I suppose at 5 I believed that dark meant there was no sunshine. I vividly remember one “night” in particular they had gotton into a fight, he had been drinking, my mom was running, I was dangling sideways in her arms. She ran into a nearby laundry and begged for help only to be received by blank stares from those with laundry to fold. She then ran into the nearby grocery store where the cute grocery man that always gave me treats was working. He put us into his car and off we went. She later married that cute grocery man and he remains a big part of my life today. My father is also a very big part of my life, whom I respect and love with all my heart. He sobered up about 17 years ago and although his battle with alcohol lasted into my adulthood, he has always been there if I need him. He is and always has been very understanding, as he too has worn many shoes.Well the sun did come out and dispite the rainy days along the way, continued to shine. I have learned that I must always look beyond the clouds and trust that sunshine will always follow…Right now as I am writing this, I am finding myself soon to be 44, I am single, yet I have been married 3 times, my 19 year old son is near by and my two kitties not far. I have so many life experiences to draw from and will share them with you in “Posts” spread out through “My Links” because a chronological biography or a daily diary is not my plight but if i can share the lessons learned along the way and possibly just possibly help someone to understand they are not alone than my greatest wish will be fulfilled.
